Back to Captivating!!
-A Special Hatred-
We hear almost daily of a gruesome assault on women around the world. Every woman's story has a theme, which is the assault on her heart. And most women believe to their cores that somehow they deserve the assault. Our thoughts take us to the place that "Something is wrong with me. I deserve this."
But we cannot fully understand our story or any other woman's story until we can fully see the forces working against women.
"Satan fell because of his beauty. Now his heart for revenge is to assault beauty."
Many people think Satan went after Eve, in the garden, because she was the weaker of the two. Eve is the incarnation of the Beauty of God, she is captivating, she allures the world to God, she gives life, nourishes life and brings life. All of these things Satan is no longer capable of. Though he hates Adam as well, his jealousy of Eve drives his motive to assault her heart!
I believe this point in the book is so important. Most of the things that happen to us, as women we believe are our fault or that we deserve it. I can even recall a specific time when Coleman and I were traveling and we both forget to grab my overnight bag. I was left without everything; contact solution, contact cast, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, make up, brush, etc. When we got to Snowmass, Co. and I realized we left the bag at home, I was so frustrated. The events leading up to this moment had left me in a very wounded and weary state. The overnight bag was the straw that broke the camel's back. Coleman tried to reassure me we could just run to the store and grab whatever we needed so it wasn't a big deal. But something inside of me continued to tell me that I was foolish for forgetting the bag. I deserved dry eyes and greasy hair all weekend for being so foolish. It took Coleman more than a day to get me to the place where I would actually go to the store and get a contact set.
As I recall this story my heart is broken. I can see how wounded and broken I am. Yet, I am so grateful for the work he is doing now. My heart is humbly grateful.
Can you see it?? Can you see that you are hated because of your beauty and power?? Can you see that it is not your fault or that you DON'T deserve it?
I pray these words hit you as hard as they did me!!
Much love!
-his,
Abby
So much truth here! I just ran across a camera from our China trip and remembered you getting yours stolen. Remember the sweet Chinese lady who consoled you on the steps of the hotel? What a kiss from God to bring a smile in such a time =D I can picture the story about the overnight bag because I remembered your devistasion over the camera.
ReplyDeleteI love that God has placed Coleman in your life to reaffirm what God is speaking to your heart, that you are accepted just the way you are and that your cherished even when you don't feel worthy! So excited to get updates about your journey!